Monday, April 30, 2012

Waking Dream Warrior

I meet you in my dreams,
or,
I meet myself, really.
She, who could not for the pain of love see,
that which stood before her,
and, or
danced in the shadows behind her back.

I will meet you there fiercely, reclaiming.
I will stand before you, eyes full and blazing,
with hands open, gently, releasing.

I,
I do my own work now.
and She who meets with you in dreams,
is She that wakes with me each morning.
She who walks beside me,
and catches my hand, should I start to fall.

She is my warrior woman, standing tall and unafraid of
what she knows,
She is that virgin huntress queen, with bow and arrow drawn.
She is open-eyed and in waking, no longer waiting for
the proof of love unfelt, or of betrayal unseen.

She walks beside me, he-ya-na-hey-neh
and whispers words of strength to my feet.
She sings freedom to each step that I have walked away.
She calls to my spirit, to every last vast inch of it-
return,
return to me.

All that is mine, I re-claim.
All that is not,
She gathers in her arms and with a firm and humble nod,
places at your feet.

He-ya-na-hey-neh-oh-wey.


-re, or the promise tenses.

time
to
re-assemble
re-create
re-invent
re-evaluate
re-name
re-member
re-connect
render
re-locate.

hablare.
cantare.
disfrutare.
crecere.
imaginare.
sanare.
sonare.
vivere.















Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Sigh...

Conversation with a good friend, sit, relax, enjoy...
and then the ol' horoscope echos- what if it's the rainbow, and not the pot of gold?

I am sitting in the local hip coffee shop, feeling stand-outtish and foreign and full.
Maybe a little too full, in reaction to an empty growling stomach, in reaction to feeling alone.
I wonder, too, about that reaction on a bigger scale, I have been hungry, hungry, hungry for Life-
and now am feeling a little too full, an appetite that has grown voracious and a weakened ability to prioritize leaves me feeling overwhelmed.

So grateful for that conversation, for the reminder to take a breath, and ground.

So many good changes have left me feeling so much clearer than before- no drank, no smoke, no joke.  A moment of celebration, here or there, but rare.  And it feels good, feels better.  It is far too easy to cloud and hide and avoid Life, myself, my pain, my goals.

Needing to find more balance, find my boundaries and hold them well, with kindness.
Phew.  Sometimes I grow tired of that lesson, and yet it doggedly arises, again and again- as often as I need it to until I learn it, I suppose.

Should go, that list is'a calling.  Less overwhelmingly though...
Bless~

Thursday, April 5, 2012