chrysalis

door ajar, letting the rain in, cleansing. 
the air is cold, but i welcome the freshness, the movement, it's chill on the little skin that's exposed.
i'm wrapped today, "moving like a pupa." :)
morning conversations of skitz-o-frenia, shamanism and spirits, emotional reactions and defenses. 
i'm surrounded by mooning women and skittish cats, still adjusting to the pit-bull size beastie that's moved in.
late morning brunching. :) 
protein and more of it!
my body is aching with this change of weather, of seasons it seems. 
but
movement is medicine
and i am doing lots of it.
feline, fluid stretching, qi gong,and shakin' it out, yo.

have some work to do that i'm avoiding.
again.
ha. 
i think that some inner dis-order needs arranging
before i can move towards that bid'ness lady who's gotta write a semi-professional letter.
phew.

gotta remember to breathe. 
it's amazing how easily and often i forget.  

no music in my life at the momentito...
my technological means are packed up in a box being stored under a bed in another town.
and so
i listen to the rain, the sound of it
on the roof, the wooden slats of the porch, the cement, the cars crashing puddles below.
i hum a little tune now and then,
and traditional chinese music trinkles in from the room across the hall.
yes. that's right. trinkling. :)
i've got the grouch's, Lakeside tune playing in my head,
mostly on repeat of,

"release-release-release-release,  release,  release,  release-"

my doodle-bug
half-crawls, half-slides off the bed, yawning.
he steps onto the carpet in front of me, bowing.
what a dawg.
i get up to give him some good puppy lovin' and i am so grateful for his presence in my life. 
no matter what worries and trials it been along the way with this guy-
they are forgotten with abandon when he snuggles in or makes me laugh so hard i cry.
damn.

ha.
i said that really loud on bart yesterday, accidentally out loud.
it kind of rang out into the conversation that was happening across from me.  i didn't look up, they definitely paused.  whoops.
it was a genuine response, after reading that in the latest issue of Street Sheet 
that there are 185 VACANT units in San Francisco's Housing Authority's buildings. 
(Who is reporting much fewer less..) 
and as the article said,
"Meanwhile, we have families in San Francisco sleeping on the floors of churches, at drop-in centers, and in their cars. Some families are forced to stay in unsafe situations as they have no place to live."

need i remind anyone of the season of weather that has just come upon us? 
rain, no matter how much it's needed or how beautiful it is,
is never welcome when you live outside.

and yes, there's bureaucracy, institutions, paperwork-
but where is the heart? the humanity?
i wonder,
with so many empty houses and so many mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, brothers and sisters outside?

the man who sold me the paper,
who gave me two issues, even though i only had 1
shared a smile with me
and generosity
i thanked him and wished him,
'Be warm, stay dry-'

just thoughts, today.  on this rainy finally-wintry day.
just feeling grateful for every little thing.