Monday, May 4, 2015

New Relation (from Authentic Movement writings)

he is screaming.

i start shaking,

i am standing.
i walk towards the sound,
and pause
i stick my tongue out
i taunt, i’m not scared of you anymore
i push up my sleeves
to my elbows
i walk
i feel the bottoms of my feet

i walk around the screaming.
i am circling
hands on my hips,
feet striking the floor.
i lose a little steam,
the defiant confidence
of my stride is lost
as the screaming continues
and threatens
to grow louder.

he is chanting.

I bump into him,
and he is whispering soft
and low, shh, shh, shh, shh-
i am stunned.
i stop.

his hand is touching mine.
his skin is old
and dry and cracked,
rough and tender.
i take his hand in mine
and place it
on the side of my head, my face,
i am held, gently
i am safe and protected,
cared for.
he gently encourages,
shh, shh, shh, shh-
tenderness fills a space
in my chest
i step away
and tears pour
down my face
big, wet, uncontrollable
streaming flow

i stand alone,
and move again.

this time
i am circling,
he is still screaming,
a choked back sob
i want to go to him and
touch him
tell him with my fingers, my hands-
shh, shh, shh, shh…

something inside of me breaks
and compassion enters my heart.

not shame,
not judgement,
for this pain and rage.

my anger receives my compassion,
as i offer it to his.

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