ROAR. ( or, Fuck 'Em. )

my anger rages
its flames clearing forests
burning up all the dying
the decaying
the lies long-standing
rooted in my own misunderstanding
of myself

my rage is quaking
trembling, shaking
crumbling buildings that have long-loomed
in
my inner landscape
beliefs of myself that have consumed
and
kept me from a clear view-

my fury cracks sidewalks
sends green shoots skywards
you,
stop right there,
don't come any closer
'cause now i have seen your
face by the firelight of my burning
your farce, your front, your failure
your longing, your yearning
and i won't let you
abuse me
and then crawl back begging

i am not a beggar
nor a destitute child
i am not the weak one
or the apologetic liar
i am roaring
i am rage
i am fury finally found
i am fierce and in your face
and i am walking the grounds
of this
my awakening

Merp.

i want to write so much! argh!
damn time restraints...
soon,
soon enough.

Anxiety

i wake
with a familiar weight
on my chest
today I am
anxious, at best
i am holding hope so tightly
that it squeeks
in small protest
i have been moving so much lately
sifting, shifting, releasing
and still
and yet
this feeling has come to visit once again.
like some stalker in the night
it must have snuck in
through the window
which i have left open,
for the sake
of moonlight,
it sits on the edge of my bed
unsettling my heart and my head
with dreams like flashes
like flashbacks
like so many faces and flurry and fear
why now? why here?
i have been gathering
my bones
and all those pieces
long scattered to the wind
calling myself home
back to that place within me
that i Know, exists
then this
this unraveling weight
that sits on my chest
and refuses undoing
this pressure
somewhere between ribcage and battlefield
between repulsion and a broken gait
LET ME BE
or please, just wait
til something passes
til my grounding is more tangible
til my personal revolution
can gain it's momentum
til the day is through
or until
i can figure out
what to do with you