I should wear a badge, or a name tag.
Maybe a medal.
It takes some courage and bravery to remain a hopeless romantic, in the midst of all this madness. It takes determination not to become jaded and to keep oneself from that darker shade of hopeless.
The lighter shade, that one when paired with "romantic"- means something else entirely. It is not despairing. More, resigned perhaps. Resigned to walk the earth hoping that somewhere out there exists a flame that burns with the same intensity as mine.
"A Friend for the end of the world."
Someone who 'gets it', who adores me, and wants to wander beside me and who in return can bathe in the pools of tenderness that within me reside.
It is a Joyful resignation, because I know that there is no choice but to keep walking and keep hoping and keep burning, living Life fully and being grateful for All.
A dear friend, an older woman, once told me in her very pragmatic and no-nonsense way, "Rachell, don't be blind. You always want what you can't have. This is your problem."
Maybe so. Maybe not. I just want what I want.
Perhaps I am too much of an Idealist when it comes to Love.
I have no fairy-tale delusions, this is not some sappy Disney movie ending that I am looking for. I am a Hopeless Romantic to be sure, but I am not a fool. It is much more truly Romantic to stick together in tough times than to live in plastic perpetual bliss.
I am young, but I have traversed the shores of Love's teaching.
I have been wind-whipped by Love's storms, and yet have risen again to Love- again and more deeply.
I have tasted what partnership can mean, and it is what I long for.
It has been in the context of relationship that I have done some of the most powerful and transformational inner-work of my Life.
If we truly Love, it cannot be otherwise.
Sigh.
My Heart speaks to me even now, as I write this, and she says, "Patience, dear one, Patience."
Ah yes, patience. A quality to be honed in all things. Something I could use a lot more of. :)
May my patience deepen,
may my soul rest,
may my silly, Romantic heart know peace-
even in the midst of her clamoring.
Paz y Amor a Todos~ So Much Love to All-
