treading water
in a sea of self-pity
while simultaneously rolling
in a sty of self-disgust
i look at my face in the mirror
and tell myself that i am strong
and tell myself to be grateful to be here
at all
hard days are a reality
it's just rough
when they hit so hard
after a night
of dancing away all thoughts of worry
healing myself with the
medicine of movement-
yesterday feels like miles away
from where i sit now
in a house that is not mine
with a friend i don't know
saying things in a voice
i don't recognize as my own
and i know it will pass
that nothing is permanent
and that i'm well on my way
on this last stretch
before the Road,
it's just that i'm not quite ready
to feel this much unrest
when there's still so much ahead
so much to do
before i go.
