fragments
of my Self
have been wandering near me
on my Journey
these last few days
i am learning
though slowly
to accept each face
each phase
no longer haunting
they seem to dance
instead
i smile
and throw back my head
to howl
to laugh long and loud-
brazenly
and yet with great
tenderness-
we all blossom
slowly
and
with great fragility.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
It Snowed!
Woke up this morning to a Winter Wonderland!
Unexpected. Very beautiful and fun!
I can't decide whether I want to go outside and play in it or truly hibernate, and crawl into my Cave. :)
Maybe a little of both is in order. But first, coffee.
Love-
Unexpected. Very beautiful and fun!
I can't decide whether I want to go outside and play in it or truly hibernate, and crawl into my Cave. :)
Maybe a little of both is in order. But first, coffee.
Love-
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Alone, and Writing.
Let the flood gates
open
let the words flow
with grace
and clarity
oh Most Holy Muse-
She who cannot be named,
He who holds me tenderly
come now
be near me
as i devote myself
fully,
to
Listen-
listening for the words
to come.
open
let the words flow
with grace
and clarity
oh Most Holy Muse-
She who cannot be named,
He who holds me tenderly
come now
be near me
as i devote myself
fully,
to
Listen-
listening for the words
to come.
Yes!
I made it to WA!
I write now, accompanied by what is quite possibly the largest mug of coffee I have ever seen. My fingers don't touch while cupping it with both hands! Ridiculous.
It also is some of the best coffee- from Dave's personal stash of New Guinea beans. Yum.
The truck is still running well. She's gotten me this far, which is really all I ever expected or asked of her. :) Hooray!
I'm just settling in here, but I am ECSTATIC about the possibilities this house holds for me...Dave has created what he calls, The Recording Cube, a wood-framed structure, completely covered with sheets of insulation made from recycled denim. Amazing. He's given the go ahead for me to turn it into my "Creative Cave" for the next few days!! I can't wait. I'm going to finally get to all the old journals and notebooks and writing and read through them all!
After I've emerged from said Cave, we're going to use it for what it's really for...recording! He showed me some tracks of his music that he's recorded in there, and it sounds beautiful. I'm really looking forward to having recordings of my newer songs.
Sigh.
Good to be here. Though admittedly, Seattle does not compare with the atmosphere and vibe of Portland. I might just stay in the house for the next few weeks! :)
I need some good re-charge, hibernation time. Some time for the seeds that have been planted to be nurtured and to grow. My extroverted-self was well cared for in OR, and now my introverted-self needs some love and attention. And I am more than happy to give it.
Amor y Paz a todos-
Raquelita
I write now, accompanied by what is quite possibly the largest mug of coffee I have ever seen. My fingers don't touch while cupping it with both hands! Ridiculous.
It also is some of the best coffee- from Dave's personal stash of New Guinea beans. Yum.
The truck is still running well. She's gotten me this far, which is really all I ever expected or asked of her. :) Hooray!
I'm just settling in here, but I am ECSTATIC about the possibilities this house holds for me...Dave has created what he calls, The Recording Cube, a wood-framed structure, completely covered with sheets of insulation made from recycled denim. Amazing. He's given the go ahead for me to turn it into my "Creative Cave" for the next few days!! I can't wait. I'm going to finally get to all the old journals and notebooks and writing and read through them all!
After I've emerged from said Cave, we're going to use it for what it's really for...recording! He showed me some tracks of his music that he's recorded in there, and it sounds beautiful. I'm really looking forward to having recordings of my newer songs.
Sigh.
Good to be here. Though admittedly, Seattle does not compare with the atmosphere and vibe of Portland. I might just stay in the house for the next few weeks! :)
I need some good re-charge, hibernation time. Some time for the seeds that have been planted to be nurtured and to grow. My extroverted-self was well cared for in OR, and now my introverted-self needs some love and attention. And I am more than happy to give it.
Amor y Paz a todos-
Raquelita
It Is Well.
the light of Love
lovingly caresses
mi alma
and illuminates
my heart
and yes, even
lifts my head
such beautiful words
that i need neither
leave nor forsake
neither proclaim
nor deny
for they
have been written
on my heart
and there they have stayed
for they were written
with passion
and beauty
and a love-longing burning
for even merely
a glimpse
of that kind of
Grace.
lovingly caresses
mi alma
and illuminates
my heart
and yes, even
lifts my head
such beautiful words
that i need neither
leave nor forsake
neither proclaim
nor deny
for they
have been written
on my heart
and there they have stayed
for they were written
with passion
and beauty
and a love-longing burning
for even merely
a glimpse
of that kind of
Grace.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Inspiracion.
Love is daily self-sacrifice.
But what of ourselves is sacrificed? Our selfishness, our self centered-ness, our ego and pride-
our lowest selves.
And so it is that Love refines us. And transforms us.
But what of ourselves is sacrificed? Our selfishness, our self centered-ness, our ego and pride-
our lowest selves.
And so it is that Love refines us. And transforms us.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Quote, Modified.
"She sees deep and is glad,
who ascends to mortality
and in her imprisonment rises
upon herself as
the sea in a chasm,
struggling to be free and unable to be,
in her surrendering
finds her continuing."
A dear friend wrote and reminded me that I am something growing. And today this is as much needed as it is appreciated.
I find myself a little 'stuck'- needing a head shift of some sort.
Needing some patience with myself.
who ascends to mortality
and in her imprisonment rises
upon herself as
the sea in a chasm,
struggling to be free and unable to be,
in her surrendering
finds her continuing."
A dear friend wrote and reminded me that I am something growing. And today this is as much needed as it is appreciated.
I find myself a little 'stuck'- needing a head shift of some sort.
Needing some patience with myself.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Laughing At Myself.
First off,
I LOVE Portland.
And I've only been here a few hours. Looks very, very promising. :) Exciting!
Secondly,
Let me tell you how I got here.
I left Medford early/mid afternoon with the intention of driving straight through to Portland. I made it as far as Salem (some 50 miles away). I was so close I could taste it, but I knew I was pushing it so I stopped. I figured I could find a nice little park-spot in some nice little neighborhood in Salem.
Not the case.
Apparently in Salem, or at least the area I was in, hardly anyone parks on the street. They all have long driveways that leave the streets nearly bare. Needless to say I felt a little conspicuous parking my Little Hippie Truck in such conditions. Not to mention the "Neighborhood Watch" signs and the funky energy. Not feelin' it.
I probably drove around Salem for 20/25 minutes or so and was at this point nearing a delirious tantrum. My tired whining was annoying even me. Especially me. Ha.
Anyway, I make one final turn onto the main stretch, desperately scanning for a side street, a sweet spot, something- when I saw it. There before me, blue lights gleaming and in all it's Gawd-Awful Glory, stood WAL-MART.
I freaked out. I think I actually threw my arms up in the air in the 'Victory' position. I definitely hooted and hollered. Oh my. I have never in my Life felt such elation to see one of the most despicable capitalist strongholds of all time.
Let me explain.
WAL-MART has a nation-wide policy that permits people to park overnight without being hassled. Suh-weetness. I was so happy.
I go into said stronghold to use the bathroom (appropriate), and head back out to Home, Sweet Home. Before making it out the door, I check a clock, it's approximately 8:00pm.
I set up bed, do a little writing, and CRASH. It must've been about 8:30/8:45. I didn't even care, I was so tired. I figured, I'll get a good night's sleep, wake up just as it's getting light, and watch the sun rise on the final stretch to Portland.
I woke up, tummy rumbling, a little cold, but very much awake. No going back. I look outside and the first thing I see is the side of a bus in the spot next to me, it reads "RIDE FOR FREEDOM" and has the causes it rides for, listed. It was kind of cool. Definitely going to look into it more.
It's still pretty dark at this point- like, night-dark. But there are people on the road, I think to myself, it must be that dark right before morning, you know, 4:00 or so. Eh, it's cool, early start sounds good.
Know where this is going yet? I didn't.
I get behind the wheel and the Truck starts right up, humming. Yes. My first thought, Coffee. Now. I spot an Am/Pm down the street and stop, hoping it won't be too bad. It wasn't. It was surprisingly strong. As I'm paying, I check out the clock behind the counter.
It is 2 AM.
I started cracking up. Right in front of the guy working there. He probably thought I was losing it. Oh man.
So, I decide to hit the Road anyway. What the hell, right? Less folks on the Road and Artemis the Truck and I can hum along at our very comfortable 60/65 mph without being shamed by being passed by the occasional big rig.
Little bit down the Road and I feel the pressing need to pee. I pull off and see a Denny's. Cool.
The girl at the counter is warm and friendly and points me in the right direction. As I come out, I hear her frustrated mutterings as she tries to un-jam the receipt paper in the ATM machine. She looks at me, dead-pan, and runs her finger acrosss her throat- the universal sign of desperate irritation and frustration. She asked, mostly joking, "You wouldn't happen to have a knife, would you?"
Actually, I do. And some pliers. I bring her both and hang out for awhile, totally feelin' myself for being so handy. Mmhmm.
I visited with the waitress, a sweet motherly woman, who showed polite concern for a young woman traveling alone at 3am. She was very kind, I liked her a lot.
I had nowhere to be, so I hung out until Stephanie, the other girl, finally gave up on fixing the ATM machine. It was probably about 4am when I hit the Road again. Random. Fun. :)
I pull up to a hostel around 4:30am. Nap time. The sun and neighborhood noises wake me up, and I go inside to find out about a bed for tonight. Met some really friendly folks and walked down to The Fresh Pot, which is where I find myself sitting now. Coffee's alright and they're playing Erykah Badu, which is a Divine way to start your morning, musically speaking.
Now, I'm gonna go explore a bit and hit that shower! Mmm.
Love to All-
More (mis)adventures to come...!
I LOVE Portland.
And I've only been here a few hours. Looks very, very promising. :) Exciting!
Secondly,
Let me tell you how I got here.
I left Medford early/mid afternoon with the intention of driving straight through to Portland. I made it as far as Salem (some 50 miles away). I was so close I could taste it, but I knew I was pushing it so I stopped. I figured I could find a nice little park-spot in some nice little neighborhood in Salem.
Not the case.
Apparently in Salem, or at least the area I was in, hardly anyone parks on the street. They all have long driveways that leave the streets nearly bare. Needless to say I felt a little conspicuous parking my Little Hippie Truck in such conditions. Not to mention the "Neighborhood Watch" signs and the funky energy. Not feelin' it.
I probably drove around Salem for 20/25 minutes or so and was at this point nearing a delirious tantrum. My tired whining was annoying even me. Especially me. Ha.
Anyway, I make one final turn onto the main stretch, desperately scanning for a side street, a sweet spot, something- when I saw it. There before me, blue lights gleaming and in all it's Gawd-Awful Glory, stood WAL-MART.
I freaked out. I think I actually threw my arms up in the air in the 'Victory' position. I definitely hooted and hollered. Oh my. I have never in my Life felt such elation to see one of the most despicable capitalist strongholds of all time.
Let me explain.
WAL-MART has a nation-wide policy that permits people to park overnight without being hassled. Suh-weetness. I was so happy.
I go into said stronghold to use the bathroom (appropriate), and head back out to Home, Sweet Home. Before making it out the door, I check a clock, it's approximately 8:00pm.
I set up bed, do a little writing, and CRASH. It must've been about 8:30/8:45. I didn't even care, I was so tired. I figured, I'll get a good night's sleep, wake up just as it's getting light, and watch the sun rise on the final stretch to Portland.
I woke up, tummy rumbling, a little cold, but very much awake. No going back. I look outside and the first thing I see is the side of a bus in the spot next to me, it reads "RIDE FOR FREEDOM" and has the causes it rides for, listed. It was kind of cool. Definitely going to look into it more.
It's still pretty dark at this point- like, night-dark. But there are people on the road, I think to myself, it must be that dark right before morning, you know, 4:00 or so. Eh, it's cool, early start sounds good.
Know where this is going yet? I didn't.
I get behind the wheel and the Truck starts right up, humming. Yes. My first thought, Coffee. Now. I spot an Am/Pm down the street and stop, hoping it won't be too bad. It wasn't. It was surprisingly strong. As I'm paying, I check out the clock behind the counter.
It is 2 AM.
I started cracking up. Right in front of the guy working there. He probably thought I was losing it. Oh man.
So, I decide to hit the Road anyway. What the hell, right? Less folks on the Road and Artemis the Truck and I can hum along at our very comfortable 60/65 mph without being shamed by being passed by the occasional big rig.
Little bit down the Road and I feel the pressing need to pee. I pull off and see a Denny's. Cool.
The girl at the counter is warm and friendly and points me in the right direction. As I come out, I hear her frustrated mutterings as she tries to un-jam the receipt paper in the ATM machine. She looks at me, dead-pan, and runs her finger acrosss her throat- the universal sign of desperate irritation and frustration. She asked, mostly joking, "You wouldn't happen to have a knife, would you?"
Actually, I do. And some pliers. I bring her both and hang out for awhile, totally feelin' myself for being so handy. Mmhmm.
I visited with the waitress, a sweet motherly woman, who showed polite concern for a young woman traveling alone at 3am. She was very kind, I liked her a lot.
I had nowhere to be, so I hung out until Stephanie, the other girl, finally gave up on fixing the ATM machine. It was probably about 4am when I hit the Road again. Random. Fun. :)
I pull up to a hostel around 4:30am. Nap time. The sun and neighborhood noises wake me up, and I go inside to find out about a bed for tonight. Met some really friendly folks and walked down to The Fresh Pot, which is where I find myself sitting now. Coffee's alright and they're playing Erykah Badu, which is a Divine way to start your morning, musically speaking.
Now, I'm gonna go explore a bit and hit that shower! Mmm.
Love to All-
More (mis)adventures to come...!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Here, Once More.
It seems the more searching, the more seeking- the more questions I find. So few answers lately.
Tonight, this poem speaks to me once again.
Reassurance
I must love the questions
themselves
as Rilke said
like locked rooms
full of treasure
to which my blind
and groping key
does not yet fit.
and await the answers
as unsealed
letters
mailed with dubious intent
and written in a very foreign
tongue.
and in the hourly making
of myself
no thought of Time
to force, to squeeze
the space
I grow into.
(Alice Walker)
I hiked last night in the Umpqua National Forest by the light of the stars...I cannot describe that kind of Beauty, do not dare to try to regurgitate it into words.
I can only experience it with every fiber of my being.
And be filled with gratitude and awe at being so very Alive.
Tonight, I am full and empty and yearning.
Tonight, this poem speaks to me once again.
Reassurance
I must love the questions
themselves
as Rilke said
like locked rooms
full of treasure
to which my blind
and groping key
does not yet fit.
and await the answers
as unsealed
letters
mailed with dubious intent
and written in a very foreign
tongue.
and in the hourly making
of myself
no thought of Time
to force, to squeeze
the space
I grow into.
(Alice Walker)
I hiked last night in the Umpqua National Forest by the light of the stars...I cannot describe that kind of Beauty, do not dare to try to regurgitate it into words.
I can only experience it with every fiber of my being.
And be filled with gratitude and awe at being so very Alive.
Tonight, I am full and empty and yearning.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
New (to me) Rumi...
IN THE ARC OF YOUR MALLET
Don’t go anywhere without me.
Let nothing happen in the sky apart from me,
or on the ground, in this world or that world,
without my being in its happening.
Vision, see nothing I don’t see.
Language, say nothing.
The way the night knows itself with the moon,
be that with me. Be the rose
nearest to the thorn that I am.
I want to feel myself in you when you taste food,
in the arc of your mallet when you work,
when you visit friends, when you go
up on the roof by yourself at night.
There’s nothing worse than to walk out along the street
without you. I don’t know where I’m going.
You’re the road and the knower of roads,
more than maps, more than love.
Don’t go anywhere without me.
Let nothing happen in the sky apart from me,
or on the ground, in this world or that world,
without my being in its happening.
Vision, see nothing I don’t see.
Language, say nothing.
The way the night knows itself with the moon,
be that with me. Be the rose
nearest to the thorn that I am.
I want to feel myself in you when you taste food,
in the arc of your mallet when you work,
when you visit friends, when you go
up on the roof by yourself at night.
There’s nothing worse than to walk out along the street
without you. I don’t know where I’m going.
You’re the road and the knower of roads,
more than maps, more than love.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Sleepless in San Leandro.
It is nearly 3am, and I am wide awake.
Just got back from a beautiful night with dear friends. It has been a day of goodbyes. Tomorrow will be one too. As much as what I have written here is true- leaving pieces and a growing Heart- It never gets easier to say goodbye to people that you love and care about.
I'm gonna write a letter to my folks and to my hermanita and play my new lady-friend for a bit- maybe words will meet music and a song will be born.
Buenas Noches y Paz...
Just got back from a beautiful night with dear friends. It has been a day of goodbyes. Tomorrow will be one too. As much as what I have written here is true- leaving pieces and a growing Heart- It never gets easier to say goodbye to people that you love and care about.
I'm gonna write a letter to my folks and to my hermanita and play my new lady-friend for a bit- maybe words will meet music and a song will be born.
Buenas Noches y Paz...
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Warm Socks and Good Music.
Feeling a little melancholy this morning.
Of course, it probably isn't helping that I've got Timi Yuro's album, Hurt, playing in the background as I pack. :)
I never said I wasn't a little bit of a musical masochist.
I am.
Oh dear.
Okay, no more procrastinating! Onward! Packing!
OH!
I got a guitar yesterday- She's amazing! She sings...
More to come.
Love-
Of course, it probably isn't helping that I've got Timi Yuro's album, Hurt, playing in the background as I pack. :)
I never said I wasn't a little bit of a musical masochist.
I am.
Oh dear.
Okay, no more procrastinating! Onward! Packing!
OH!
I got a guitar yesterday- She's amazing! She sings...
More to come.
Love-
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Yeah.
Feel like dancing-
dance cause We Are Free...
though the Road is rocky
it sure feels good to me-
Highway riding-
the sun is arising
the sign is arising
highway riding-
Rainbow Country!
dance cause We Are Free...
though the Road is rocky
it sure feels good to me-
Highway riding-
the sun is arising
the sign is arising
highway riding-
Rainbow Country!
"I'm Gonna Put It On the Record..."
I drove my truck for the first time in four days, just now. It passed smog. I came home and had a James-Brown-get-down-and-funky Dance party in the kitchen. A dance of pure and utter joy.
and Now, some Bob. :)
This is happening, and I am going. I have never felt such deep knowing about the direction of my course. I have listened to my Heart.
Gracias a Dios.
Here I come you big wide Beautiful world!
and Now, some Bob. :)
This is happening, and I am going. I have never felt such deep knowing about the direction of my course. I have listened to my Heart.
Gracias a Dios.
Here I come you big wide Beautiful world!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Beauty.
There is a song that was introduced to me a million years ago by my friend, Dave. It's a song from his youth, written by a friend of his that they would all sing and play together. Some folks who know what it means to have to say goodbye.
Whenever I leave a place, this song echos-
"Saying goodbye, I give you pieces of my heart..."
And it's true. I've left pieces of my heart every place that my feet have travelled, everywhere that I have been where I have loved, and loved deeply- and to me, it's not so much sad, as it is Beautiful.
Because my heart just keeps growing.
For every piece left, there is created room ten-fold in my heart to Love and give from. I'm not sure how or why it has worked this way, I just know that it has, and I am grateful.
I Love so many people in so many places, and the memories of them and what they have taught me- son mis tesoros. I am Blessed, truly. My Family just keeps growing.
Saying goodbye makes it all much more real- I'm leaving. In a matter of days now.
For those to whom I have already spent time with in these last few days- Gracias, con todo mi corazon. Thank you, with all of my heart. Thank you for sharing your selves, for being a part of my Life. For those I have yet to see- call me. (You know the digits!) And if you don't, and are around and would like to hang out, email me. [rkshaffer@gmail.com]
So Much Love-
Whenever I leave a place, this song echos-
"Saying goodbye, I give you pieces of my heart..."
And it's true. I've left pieces of my heart every place that my feet have travelled, everywhere that I have been where I have loved, and loved deeply- and to me, it's not so much sad, as it is Beautiful.
Because my heart just keeps growing.
For every piece left, there is created room ten-fold in my heart to Love and give from. I'm not sure how or why it has worked this way, I just know that it has, and I am grateful.
I Love so many people in so many places, and the memories of them and what they have taught me- son mis tesoros. I am Blessed, truly. My Family just keeps growing.
Saying goodbye makes it all much more real- I'm leaving. In a matter of days now.
For those to whom I have already spent time with in these last few days- Gracias, con todo mi corazon. Thank you, with all of my heart. Thank you for sharing your selves, for being a part of my Life. For those I have yet to see- call me. (You know the digits!) And if you don't, and are around and would like to hang out, email me. [rkshaffer@gmail.com]
So Much Love-
Monday, February 9, 2009
Today.
I am tired.
Not the worn-down kind, but the I've-been-living-all-of-my-days-fully kind. Which feels good.
My body is a little sore from my rock-climbing and tide-pool hopping in Monterey yesterday...which was AMAZING. :)
I headed down the coast with my buddy, Jeremy. Monterey is one of his favorite places in the whole world and I felt honored that he wanted to go there with me. We had a blast. Just wandered around taking pictures, hit the beach, hung out seperately and together- which I love. I love having friends that hold space for one or the other of us to wander off alone for a little bit, and wander back. Pretty special.
When we got back to the Bay, I ran some Road errands and then Joe, Tommy, Jeremy, and I all shared some cheese, hummus, grapes, and wine! With those three the conversation is always unpredictable, and always entertaining. :)
Some good quality time with friends before I say goodbye. Lovely. Hopefully more of that to come yet...
I want to post some shots from the day, a devious dinner party at Natalie's, and the Show at the cafe. The computer I have access to is currently experiencing some difficulties, so hopefully soon!
Love-
Not the worn-down kind, but the I've-been-living-all-of-my-days-fully kind. Which feels good.
My body is a little sore from my rock-climbing and tide-pool hopping in Monterey yesterday...which was AMAZING. :)
I headed down the coast with my buddy, Jeremy. Monterey is one of his favorite places in the whole world and I felt honored that he wanted to go there with me. We had a blast. Just wandered around taking pictures, hit the beach, hung out seperately and together- which I love. I love having friends that hold space for one or the other of us to wander off alone for a little bit, and wander back. Pretty special.
When we got back to the Bay, I ran some Road errands and then Joe, Tommy, Jeremy, and I all shared some cheese, hummus, grapes, and wine! With those three the conversation is always unpredictable, and always entertaining. :)
Some good quality time with friends before I say goodbye. Lovely. Hopefully more of that to come yet...
I want to post some shots from the day, a devious dinner party at Natalie's, and the Show at the cafe. The computer I have access to is currently experiencing some difficulties, so hopefully soon!
Love-
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Reading 'Travels With Charley'
"For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?"
-John Steinbeck
-John Steinbeck
Nocturnal.
My time is growing short here and these quiet hours of the night have become a time of gathering and preparation.
My list of 'Doing' is calling me, but quickly, first,
I played a show last night at Mon Cafe. It was Incredible. Joe and Manami and a few others wanted to put on a Benefit Concert of sorts- to help me raise some funds for a new guitar. The outpour of support from this community doesn't seem to have an end. I am so grateful for them.
It was a beautiful night! Magical. By far the most comfortable I have ever been playing in front of people- I shared some stories and played a set of all originals- It felt so good to express myself in that way. To share of myself, my travels and experiences- it felt like Something big.
More than anything- the fact that people whom I love and respect, those that know me deeply- expressed their belief in and support of my Music.
It has affirmed me and strengthened me and encouraged me in ways that I cannot begin to fathom, let alone express. I am so grateful for these people in my Life. I am astounded.
Love to All and Good Night.
My list of 'Doing' is calling me, but quickly, first,
I played a show last night at Mon Cafe. It was Incredible. Joe and Manami and a few others wanted to put on a Benefit Concert of sorts- to help me raise some funds for a new guitar. The outpour of support from this community doesn't seem to have an end. I am so grateful for them.
It was a beautiful night! Magical. By far the most comfortable I have ever been playing in front of people- I shared some stories and played a set of all originals- It felt so good to express myself in that way. To share of myself, my travels and experiences- it felt like Something big.
More than anything- the fact that people whom I love and respect, those that know me deeply- expressed their belief in and support of my Music.
It has affirmed me and strengthened me and encouraged me in ways that I cannot begin to fathom, let alone express. I am so grateful for these people in my Life. I am astounded.
Love to All and Good Night.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Hyper-Distillation.
dis⋅til⋅la⋅tion
[dis-tl-ey-shuhn] –noun
1. the volatilization or evaporation and subsequent condensation of a liquid, as when water is boiled in a retort and the steam is condensed in a cool receiver.
2. the purification or concentration of a substance, the obtaining of the essence or volatile properties contained in it, or the separation of one substance from another, by such a process.
[dis-tl-ey-shuhn] –noun
1. the volatilization or evaporation and subsequent condensation of a liquid, as when water is boiled in a retort and the steam is condensed in a cool receiver.
2. the purification or concentration of a substance, the obtaining of the essence or volatile properties contained in it, or the separation of one substance from another, by such a process.
StreamsofThoughts
sitting in a computer lab at chabot college waiting for this class to be over so i can have a car ride to myself back to my client's house the quiet of computer labs always creeps me out a little you can hear the machines humming so many of them more than the amount of people in the room. weird. for some reason it helps me to not have to put punctuation or worry so much about form i have realized that i need to turn the inner-editor off- or at least turn the volume down because it stops me from writing at all sometimes. the woman i work with uses such a harsh tone with people all the time i wonder how people (others too not just her) talk to others like that without hearing themselves and cringing maybe they don't mean too, but to not hear it? strange.
i wonder if i do that.
my mind is dancing today have to enjoy and not over-do-it overthinking is one of the main things that exhausts me after today i only have one more thursday before i leave!! whooooohoooo! gracias a diosa i made it through endurance determination i stuck with it even at it's roughest i am proud of myself.
i am proud of myself.
good to write it good to feel it- even as i write this i find i am being a little bit "complainy" which usually means i am tired-which i think is true- i haven't been sleeping well. my dream cycles have been scattered and irregular and jarring weird images and feelings that linger even after i have woken up hopefully it stops soon. maybe i can catch up this weekend yum.
i'm a little bored. (ha! can you tell?) which i always feel guilty saying. when i was a kid my mom instilled a distaste for that word- my sister and i would complain of boredom and she would say "how could you be bored?? there's so much to do! go play." we would moan and groan a little as kids sometimes do and inevitably would get caught up in some game or a make-believe land of our imaginings. i am forever grateful to my mother for not allowing us to watch too much tv when we were little.
ah, yes. 4oclock nears and we will go wait for the bus and then me to my truck for some brief solitude and silence......sigh.
i wonder if i do that.
my mind is dancing today have to enjoy and not over-do-it overthinking is one of the main things that exhausts me after today i only have one more thursday before i leave!! whooooohoooo! gracias a diosa i made it through endurance determination i stuck with it even at it's roughest i am proud of myself.
i am proud of myself.
good to write it good to feel it- even as i write this i find i am being a little bit "complainy" which usually means i am tired-which i think is true- i haven't been sleeping well. my dream cycles have been scattered and irregular and jarring weird images and feelings that linger even after i have woken up hopefully it stops soon. maybe i can catch up this weekend yum.
i'm a little bored. (ha! can you tell?) which i always feel guilty saying. when i was a kid my mom instilled a distaste for that word- my sister and i would complain of boredom and she would say "how could you be bored?? there's so much to do! go play." we would moan and groan a little as kids sometimes do and inevitably would get caught up in some game or a make-believe land of our imaginings. i am forever grateful to my mother for not allowing us to watch too much tv when we were little.
ah, yes. 4oclock nears and we will go wait for the bus and then me to my truck for some brief solitude and silence......sigh.
Mmm-Hmm.
Today, I am inspired!
Partly due to the previous quote, and others read here.
and perhaps also partly due to a miraculous visit to DMV this morning...
My mind is dancing with possibilities and it seems that all those closed doors I have stared sullenly at for so long have begun to creak open, rusty hinges and all.
When I am inspired like this, Life once more is renewed in me- the ordinary, sacred. The mundane, magical. I know that in truth, it is always this way, that in fact, it is my own issues and hangups that cloud my perception. Good to re-member this today.
I want to live asi- With a Believing Heart.
I'm headed out in about a week and a half, first stop: Oregon! I can't wait! I've only flown over this forested land and I am so excited to drive through and experience Life there. Not to mention some beautiful folks to see along the way. :)
Partly due to the previous quote, and others read here.
and perhaps also partly due to a miraculous visit to DMV this morning...
My mind is dancing with possibilities and it seems that all those closed doors I have stared sullenly at for so long have begun to creak open, rusty hinges and all.
When I am inspired like this, Life once more is renewed in me- the ordinary, sacred. The mundane, magical. I know that in truth, it is always this way, that in fact, it is my own issues and hangups that cloud my perception. Good to re-member this today.
I want to live asi- With a Believing Heart.
I'm headed out in about a week and a half, first stop: Oregon! I can't wait! I've only flown over this forested land and I am so excited to drive through and experience Life there. Not to mention some beautiful folks to see along the way. :)
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