sitting in a computer lab at chabot college waiting for this class to be over so i can have a car ride to myself back to my client's house the quiet of computer labs always creeps me out a little you can hear the machines humming so many of them more than the amount of people in the room. weird. for some reason it helps me to not have to put punctuation or worry so much about form i have realized that i need to turn the inner-editor off- or at least turn the volume down because it stops me from writing at all sometimes. the woman i work with uses such a harsh tone with people all the time i wonder how people (others too not just her) talk to others like that without hearing themselves and cringing maybe they don't mean too, but to not hear it? strange.
i wonder if i do that.
my mind is dancing today have to enjoy and not over-do-it overthinking is one of the main things that exhausts me after today i only have one more thursday before i leave!! whooooohoooo! gracias a diosa i made it through endurance determination i stuck with it even at it's roughest i am proud of myself.
i am proud of myself.
good to write it good to feel it- even as i write this i find i am being a little bit "complainy" which usually means i am tired-which i think is true- i haven't been sleeping well. my dream cycles have been scattered and irregular and jarring weird images and feelings that linger even after i have woken up hopefully it stops soon. maybe i can catch up this weekend yum.
i'm a little bored. (ha! can you tell?) which i always feel guilty saying. when i was a kid my mom instilled a distaste for that word- my sister and i would complain of boredom and she would say "how could you be bored?? there's so much to do! go play." we would moan and groan a little as kids sometimes do and inevitably would get caught up in some game or a make-believe land of our imaginings. i am forever grateful to my mother for not allowing us to watch too much tv when we were little.
ah, yes. 4oclock nears and we will go wait for the bus and then me to my truck for some brief solitude and silence......sigh.
